How to know if your teen needs therapy

Consultations can help

It's hard to know when to make that call to a therapist. Therapy can be time-consuming and expensive, and you don't want to over-react to something that may be quite normal.

First, please know that you can always schedule a consultation with a therapist. Most therapists of teens will talk to the parent first before meeting with the teen. It gives us a chance to speak in an unedited way about what you're seeing.

Every therapist does this differently, but if after the consultation, I don't think the teen needs therapy, I don't charge for that consultation time. I'd rather encourage parents to seek help early and lose money than have parents wait too long. It's always better to address problems now before they are on the "You Do Need A Counselor" list.

If there is a safety concern, take action immediately. It's better to be wrong than regretful.

When to be concerned

Normal or Concerning

It's probably normal if:

Your teen is sleeping 8-10 hours a day (Teens have an increased need for sleep).
Your teen is sometimes moody
Your teen becomes particular about what they eat
Your teen's feelings are hurt by his or her friends, but they always make up
Your teen fails the occasional test
Your teen wants to spend more time with friends than with you

You might need a Counselor if:

Your teen's grades have dropped
Your teen has suddenly changed their sleeping, eating, or grooming habits (ex. doesn't shower daily, sleeps more than 10 hours a day, refuses to eat)
Your teen had a sudden loss or major change in his or her life (divorce, step-family, or death of a friend)
Your teen is moody most days
Your teen isn't following most of your rules (ex. breaking curfew)

You do need a Counselor if:

Your teen is not bouncing back from something that stressed him out a few months ago
Your teen has talked about or has tried hurting him or herself
You find drug paraphernalia
Your teen was caught using drugs or drinking alcohol
Your teen won't eat or they eat what looks like 3 meals at once
Your teen has been expelled from school
Your teen doesn't have any friends
Your teen gets into fights causing injury

Of course the only way to be sure is to have a consultation. Talk to a counselor about your concerns.

Considering a consultation? It's like going to the doctor for your annual check-up. The counselor will probably ask a lot of questions, and either suggest counseling or not. Most counselors would be happy to say, "Your teen is fine. No need for counseling."