When should parents get help for themselves?

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Many parents find my site because they are in crisis. There is something going on with their teen and they need help. Their need for help is very real, and their concern for their child's well-being can be felt.

But parents have their own needs as well.   Sometimes it's most helpful to the teen for the parent(s) to be receiving support in their own counseling.

Parenting is stressful, and the intensity of your reactions might catch you off guard.   When a parent addresses these feelings in counseling, the triggers lose their power, and the parent is able to become a calmer, less reactive, more centered person, which helps them to return to being the kind of parent they want to be. 

There are numerous topics that parents bring to therapy including (but are not limited to): 

• feeling unhappy and overwhelmed
• reactions to major stressors and life events impacting their family
• feeling guilty about being deeply disappointed about how it feels to be a parent
• fear of making the same mistakes their parents made with them
• wondering if they did something wrong to cause their family pain 
• feeling scared that their teen won't change fast enough to avoid even more pain
• being reminded of their own childhood
• current difficulties with siblings or aging parents 

Your child does not have to be in counseling for you to get your own help. You also do not have to be in your own counseling for your teen to be.  Whether it be with therapy or something else, families function better when stressed members are getting support.

I usually work with one member of the family on an ongoing basis. I am happy to provide referrals for counselors that I respect if a second family member (child, teen, or adult) would like to pursue counseling.